My good friend who was expecting 3 weeks after me found out her amniocentesis results yesterday. It's all good! The baby is healthy and it is a little boy! This is great news. I am really happy for her, she is so wonderful and she has been so stressed out waiting for the testing to get done because her early results had her very high risk.
Unfortunately I am also insanely jealous. Of course I will never tell her this, because well that's just stupid, but while I keep trying to convince my rational brain not to be jealous that little green-eyed monster keeps showing his face. It's just that we were due right around the same time, we were trying to conceive together and we were going to be on mat leave together. Everything was perfect until I had my miscarriage.Of course I would never wish that there was anything wrong with her baby, but for a few weeks there I had someone to talk to that was also having a hard time with baby making, I guess misery loves company, and now she is so happy and I am so happy for her, but I feel all alone again.
I guess I have been feeling all "woe is me" the last few days, throwing myself a great big pity party! I keep thinking that I really want to be pregnant again, but when I was pregnant the timing was perfect. I would have a baby in early August and could take a full school year off, which is very convenient as a teacher. If we get pregnant this month or next then the baby would be born between late November and late December which although I would be super happy to see that positive, it also means that within a 3 week period we would have Christmas, my birthday, my husband's birthdy and the baby's birthday. We both hated having birthdays so close to Christmas so I was excited to have a summer baby! Then, I stop myself and think of all the minor things to really waste my time thinking about, when the baby that I am still trying to conceive might be born is so stupid.
Well, ok, that's enough of a pity party for me....I am off to start teaching....somedays working at a school for pregnant and parenting teen girls is really hard. Why do unwanted pregnancies seem to happen so easily and those of us who try and are finanically and emotionally ready seem to struggle?
I too get this green eye monster syndrome and have felt like why not me instead of oh yay! luckily I'm oh yay on the outside which is what counts.
ReplyDeleteI have been in a similar situation and despite me now having a nearly 3 year old daughter it did take 22 months and a failed pregnancy. Myself and my godmother found out we were pregnant at roughly the saoe time. Whereas she told everyone about hers I didn't say anything about mine and a couple of weeks later it was no more for me. She went on to have a baby girl who was born on my old due date. Of course I was happy but I was also upset too.
Things happen for a reason - you just don't see why at first.
Good luck, take care and hope that monster doesn't crop up too often x
Congrats on having a daugther, I'm sure she is worth the long hard road you had to travel for her to arrive. I have been working hard to keep the green-eyed monster at bay. It is hard sometimes but it's not healthy to let him rear his ugly head too often! Hopefully my story soon will be one with a happy ending!
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