I was driving to work this morning, well my husband was driving I guess I was passengering (ok not a word, but you get the idea). I only specify the difference because I was checking my email and I don't want you to think I was driving while staring at my phone. Anyway, I was checking my email on my iphone and I got an email from my sister. She sent me an ultrasound photo from her 12 week scan that she just had done. Well holy giant flood of emotions batman!
HAPPY - for her and her husband, I'm glad her pregnancy is going the way it should and she her risk of miscarriage is way down.
JEALOUS - I am jealous because I want to get to a healthy 12 week scan so badly!
SCARED - seeing her scan made me realise that I am so scared about not making it that far, my heart is seriously pounding with anxiety
SAD - I'm not going to lie I threw a little poor me pity party, I am still so very sad about the loss of our first baby and I'm not sure when that will start feeling better. Perhaps once I get that healthy scan and can move onto excitement about this pregnancy.
EXCITED - now that I'm pregnant again (will be 5 weeks this Thursday) it's only about 7 weeks until I might get to see the same thing
IMPATIENT - seriously can't I pay someone somewhere to make time go faster
So that was how I felt on my drive to work this morning and pretty much the rest of today. I am feeling so many emotions all at the same time that it's like my body doesn't know what to do with itself! I wish I could just hibernate and not think about it for a few weeks.
The pregnancy clinic I go to doesn't do anything want to see me until almost 12 weeks and then your 12 week scan is the first one you have. I had a healthy 6 week scan last time, the baby died around 8.5 weeks and we found out at 11.5 weeks. I am torn between just waiting until the 12 week scan or paying for a private scan earlier. There is a place in the city that does a basic 2D scan for 90 bucks. I was thinking about doing that around 9.5 or 10 weeks......so torn. If you have an opinion please leave me a comment and tell me what you think. Early scan or wait until 12 weeks????
As a newly pregnant woman who's had experiences with early ,miscarriages and fertility issues, I personally would pay for a sooner u/s. I think it's better for you and the baby to have an ease of mind rather than worry. I know for a fact that I will not be waiting 12 weeks no matter what the price is to get one sooner. I need to know, let my mind rest and my heart soar!
ReplyDeleteBest wishes!!